As some of you may recall, for the last nine months we’ve had a giant pile of debris in our back yard. When the house fire was put out, the firefighters threw all the smoldering stuff (furniture, bedding, clothes) out the windows; this was later joined by the tear-out debris of burned drywall, flooring, insulation, etc.

Under one corner of the pile was a large white shape, hidden by snow and ice and then by four-foot weeds and a big drift of plaster muck. That shape was our dog freezer, dragged out of the basement the day after the fire and allowed to become buried by what came after it.

This last week, the pile was FINALLY taken away. It took three guys and two and a half gigantic dumpsters, but it’s gone. Which means that today the dogs could go out into the back yard for the first time in all those months.

Bronte eagerly trotted out, nose to the ground. She frolicked out to the new fenceline and rubbed her shoulders and neck luxuriously all along the ground, waving her fat white feet in the air and groaning with pleasure.

We all laughed and nodded at each other; I think I clapped a little. It was just as we had imagined! The dogs are so happy and isn’t it lovely that they can finally be off their leashes!

And then Bronte scrambled up and shook, her mouth wide open with the joy of it all.

And then all six of us FELL OVER DEAD.

There was absolutely no other possible response to the BILLOWING WAVES OF RUIN  that came off that dog. We tried, but death overtook us before we could get back to the basement door.  And then Ginny danced on our heads. The end.


OK, seriously, we did start yelling and fighting each other to get back inside, while holding our noses and trying to grab the baby and shedding shoes and socks at the same time.

What Bronte had discovered was that the dog freezer had been quietly leaking an effluvium of chicken backs, venison, thirty pounds of beef liver, and a big sack of lamb lungs, and had been doing it for the last three-quarters of a year. So a not inconsiderable section of the new dog area is not fit for anything but bleach and/or a flamethrower.

New Plan: Move dog fence over and pray that Nature’s Miracle works in a yard sprayer.


17 thoughts on “Juice

  1. And who is the lucky person that got to bathe the odiferous Bronte (as if we didn’t know)?

    I’m sure there will be another story to follow ….

  2. Yikes!! If you get a decent amount of rain, I think I’d leave it to do the job. And as a note, vinegar is a fantastic deodorizer – but also a fantastic plant killer (works on weeds in the driveway, walkway, etc.), so I wouldn’t use it on any planted area you want to keep planted!

  3. I don’t think there is any other response than O.M.G. 🙂 I can only imagine, and also imagine how delighted Bronte was to have discovered it…

  4. blechhhh! Couldn’t you cover it up with some soil and plantings?

    And wow, that freezer had how many hundreds of dollars’ worth of food???

    • I am ridiculously obsessed with getting raw food cheap, so it wasn’t as bad as if it had been cases of Bravo or something. But let’s just say “not inconsiderable” amounts of food were lost. It’s not where I can plant, but I may be able to dump soil on it. Right now I am praying for a thunderstorm and I am going over there tonight to dump NM on it.

      • ugh, upon re-reading my comment, I’m sorry that it came out differently than I intended. Bottom line is that I felt bad for your loss, all that food!!! (on top of everything else lost, I know, you can’t allow yourself to dwell on it but it just floors me every time I think about it, what you’ve gone through)

        I suggested planting something to take advantage of the bacteria and proteins present in the decomp sludge. But dumping soil over it alone wouldn’t be enough, the dogs will just dig it up… maybe lime and vinegar would work, and they’re cheaper than the NM stuff. Hopefully you’ll find a good remedy, and God will send some rain your way to help out.

  5. Gack! The stench of a home made SuperFund site! Here’s hoping that some vinegar, nature’s miracle or vinegar will put things to rights very quickly.

    • Be careful with lime, all of their hair will fall out with exposure to an extreme amount.

      We used it in stalls and couldn’t figure out why everyone’s manes and tails looked like crap.

  6. I can’t wait to hear the bathing story. Maybe if you fake pregnant and helpless a neighbor will do it for you. My neighbor bathed my skunky dog for me when I was pregnant. Good luck.

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