As some of you may recall, for the last nine months we’ve had a giant pile of debris in our back yard. When the house fire was put out, the firefighters threw all the smoldering stuff (furniture, bedding, clothes) out the windows; this was later joined by the tear-out debris of burned drywall, flooring, insulation, etc.
Under one corner of the pile was a large white shape, hidden by snow and ice and then by four-foot weeds and a big drift of plaster muck. That shape was our dog freezer, dragged out of the basement the day after the fire and allowed to become buried by what came after it.
This last week, the pile was FINALLY taken away. It took three guys and two and a half gigantic dumpsters, but it’s gone. Which means that today the dogs could go out into the back yard for the first time in all those months.
Bronte eagerly trotted out, nose to the ground. She frolicked out to the new fenceline and rubbed her shoulders and neck luxuriously all along the ground, waving her fat white feet in the air and groaning with pleasure.
We all laughed and nodded at each other; I think I clapped a little. It was just as we had imagined! The dogs are so happy and isn’t it lovely that they can finally be off their leashes!
And then Bronte scrambled up and shook, her mouth wide open with the joy of it all.
And then all six of us FELL OVER DEAD.
There was absolutely no other possible response to the BILLOWING WAVES OF RUIN that came off that dog. We tried, but death overtook us before we could get back to the basement door. And then Ginny danced on our heads. The end.
OK, seriously, we did start yelling and fighting each other to get back inside, while holding our noses and trying to grab the baby and shedding shoes and socks at the same time.
What Bronte had discovered was that the dog freezer had been quietly leaking an effluvium of chicken backs, venison, thirty pounds of beef liver, and a big sack of lamb lungs, and had been doing it for the last three-quarters of a year. So a not inconsiderable section of the new dog area is not fit for anything but bleach and/or a flamethrower.
New Plan: Move dog fence over and pray that Nature’s Miracle works in a yard sprayer.