Overheard in the car

Me: So, considering our decisions to this point, which have all focused on the fact that the last pregnancy and labor and delivery were absolute crap on a sandwich, and the fact that we have committed to Z being the last baby, I’ve been just kind of wondering. We’ve made these resolutions but we’ve mutually agreed that we don’t want to undertake any permanent alterations to the landscape, and we’ve got probably a decade of at least some kind of fecundity left. And we have to consider that between half and two-thirds of our current offspring population was less then planned, though of course that’s been a blessing in and of itself, and therefore counting on the sub-optimal chances that the doctors gave us back in 2000 may be on the order of too little too late. And despite the aforementioned commitment there’s always the fact that when we (glancing back at children) share toothbrushes we have usually, thanks to our glorious children, gone a long time between sharing toothbrushes and therefore we may be somewhat less than careful about this and even a little of that. So, considering all those variables and looking over the next ten years, do you think that we will actually be able to maintain the status quo in terms of how many of us there are to seat at restaurants or how many letter stands we need while playing Scrabble?

Him (fixing me with an extremely weary eye): Dude, I’m honestly surprised you’re not pregnant right now.

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